What Part of You Is Hungry?

What Part of You Is Hungry?

Who among us hasn’t reached for something to eat at the first inkling of hunger, even when it isn’t our body that needs to be fed? While encouraging healthy approaches to eating, the driving force behind What Part of You Is Hungry? is that physical food cannot satisfy the hungers that propel many women into conflicts with their bodies and struggles with their weight. To truly succeed in maintaining a healthy weight, a woman must determine if her hunger is coming from her body or her life. What Part of You Is Hungry? shows her how.

Two guiding principles shape my work and the ideas I explore here. First, arriving to a healthy relationship with food is best understood in the context of the greater whole: a healthy relationship with yourself. The extent to which your body, mind and spirit are in a harmonious interrelationship with each other is the wellspring of your life. Dieting, by itself, too often separates you from your life.

Second, feeding your mind and your spirit well is as fundamental to achieving and maintaining a healthy weight as healthy eating is for your body. When you can figure out if your hunger is coming from your body or your life, you’ve mastered the art of feeding yourself.

One More Time…Why Do Diets Fail?

Going on a diet based on the common belief “I would be happy if I could only lose this weight” is often a set up for failure. Gaining everything back after our most valiant efforts to shed extra pounds leaves us feeling miserable, if not a little brokenhearted.

Diets fail because they are an offspring of control. They are disguised attempts at manipulating our external environment to achieve a change that must come from deep within us. They keep us hooked for a while on achieving an outcome that may be incomplete or unrealistic and make little room for real healing.

imagesG9U578DK.jpgYO YoThe “next, new diet” is embraced  because so many of us keep thinking that our happiness is relative to the size of our backsides. If a new diet is our only tool, the mindset we had while we were overweight can remain with us long after a weight loss has made good progress or is completed.

Some quotes from women you may envy because they lost weight:

Buying clothes is a not the fun I thought it would be. I try on something over and over again until I find something to fit me. It’s just the way it used to be, only the opposite. I still don’t like what I see in the mirror.

Losing the weight forces me to feel things I didn’t have to before.” I thought I’d be happier.

(After losing 60 pounds) My one dream has been taken away. I believed that losing weight would change everything that was wrong in my life but that did not happen. The pain of my childhood is still with me. I’m still lonely. And now, I no longer have getting thin to look forward to.

The only thing that has changed about me is the amount of space I take up….I’m still the same person but suddenly I have become visible to men , get more positive feedback for doing the same quality of work I’ve always done and receive more invitations from my friends. I’m having a hard time. I never would have imagined I’d feel resentment once I was slim.”

I don’t want to lose any more weight. There’s been enough loss in my life, already.

When only the number on the scale changes, even dramatically, we may still be living with the specter of hunger much of the time. An inexplicable unrest never seems far away. A feeling of unexplained loss, even grief, may linger. If food served as a constant, comforting companion or “best friend,” it is easy to understand feeling this way.

When a part of you is starving, being slimmer cannot feed you. What Part of You Is Hungry?

On The Art of Feeding Yourself

  • A Hershey’s bar or a hug? What do you really want? Physical hunger builds gradually. Emotional hunger develops suddenly.
  • Identify what your internal, physical clues are to determine physical hunger. Give your body back its power (not the clock, your eyes, your friends or your mood).
  • Guilt tends to be extremely fattening. There is nothing you are “not allowed to have.” Treats need to be just that – treats. Special occasions sometimes involve special foods.
  • Guilt can be fattening! Use discretion. Try to plan for food indulgences by eating healthfully prior to and following a decadent desert or situations you know ahead of time will involve a lot of food. Trust that your healthier metabolism will work for you. It will.
  • Always ask yourself: “What Part of You Is Hungry?”

What’s the Best Diet Out There?

leadWhat’s the best “diet”? Interesting read… Science Compared Every Diet, and the Winner Is Real Food – James

How does the diet you are contemplating right now measure up?

Am I Too Fat?



fat1“Fat is not a personality disorder. Flagrantly defining ourselves by our body’s relative fat distribution makes no sense. It is dismaying to look at the extent to which we demean our worth as women through negative associations with a three-letter word. But if its meaning for you erodes your self-esteem and keeps you at a distance from your real beauty, it’s time to do some healing.

The negativity women associate with the meanings behind the word “fat” comes in great part from a culture that has grown increasingly unforgiving and superficial. During an earlier, more vulnerable time in your life, you may have allowed other people’s perceptions to provide the basis of your own. Now would be a good time to change some of those perceptions.

fat2When you ask yourself (or someone else) if you look fat, what are you really saying? Are you too fat to go swimming on a hot summer day? Are you too fat to be a high-fashion model begging to be fed from the pages of a sleek, photo-shopped magazine? Perhaps you’re too fat compared to your mother and sister who still, to this day, can wear each other’s clothing. Are you too fat to deserve success?”


Reflect a bit on this sad article written by very bright and very young woman. We’ve come a long way but not nearly far enough.



Could Your Spirit Be Hungry Right Now?

hummingbirdFood for the spirit is not the same as the food that feeds our bellies. But like our body, our spirit gets hungry every day and at multiple times. Most of the time, we may not realize how hungry our spirit was until after we’ve fed it.

We chose our spiritual foods from the fields of plenty all around us from the most ephemeral moments of joy, gratitude and love to the depth of connection we feel to one another. Spiritual hunger is often about our need to feel that we belong to something greater than ourselves…..

When you have problems feeding your body, try feeding your spirit.  If your heart is satisfied and your soul is content, physiological hunger is no longer fraught with fear and ambivalence. When your spirit is full, nourishing your body becomes what it is: a simple necessity and a simple pleasure.

When your spirit is content, your mind settles down and you feel more serene. Your breath is slow and deep and your body is at ease. In this startling simplicity, feeding yourself becomes sacred. You begin to associate feelings of well- being, humility and connection to the divine with all the ways in which you nourish yourself every day.  Transforming damaged eating patterns and healing a troubled relationship with food doesn’t seem so  complicated and perhaps, is within your reach.