Posts Tagged women and fashion

Do I Look Too Fat? 3 Insights to Transform How You See Yourself

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Thinking about your body in terms of how “fat” it is can erode your self-esteem and keep you at a distance from your real beauty. Here are three insights to help you reframe how the word “fat” operates in your life by changing the focus from body image to self image:

1. When you say “I feel fat,” what precisely do you mean? This is an important question because “fat” is a word many women use as a stand-in for a wide-range of authentic emotions. What is the feeling, the mood or the experience that is the driving force behind your “I feel fat” statement. Do you feel undesirable or socially anxious? Do you feel inferior or unlovable? Are you sad or hurt or angry and don’t quite believe that you belong in the world today? Shift your focus from chronic preoccupation with your body’s size and weight to what you are really feeling about yourself in the moment. 

2.  “Do these pants make me look fat?” How often do you suppose this question is heard in women’s dressing rooms? How many times have is asked it yourself?  Realize that no article of clothing makes you look fat. Your clothes do reveal other important information about yourself. A dress can emphasize how gracefully you age; a pair of shoes might say something about your sense of humor. But most often, the clothing you choose to wear is a statement about how you feel about yourself:

“I feel pretty” or “Don’t look at me.

“I’m comfortable and secure” or “Go away.”

“I’m a winner” or “I’m hopeless.”

“I mean business” or “Shoot me now.”

The colors, patterns and fit of your clothing can draw attention to you or help you hide, but no article of clothing “makes” you look fat. See if the clothes you feel drawn to give you insight about your internal landscape.

3. When you stand before the mirror, shift your attention from the critical eye perpetually judging the relative size and shape of your body. Remember that the amount of space you occupy is not a reflection of your self-worth. The size of your backside is not in proportion to your capacity to give and receive love. Your body’s silhouette does not limit or increase your integrity or your courage. Keep in mind that even the most dramatic weight loss does not promise an increase in self-esteem. A shift in your self-esteem, however, can support anything you want to accomplish.