Posts Tagged yo-yo diet

The Scale: Tyrant Or Tool?

imagesSCE3MP10Remember it is your behavior that determines your weight, not the scale. Think about how you use your scale. Or, does it use you? Does it tell you how to feel, what to wear or what to eat? Do you weigh yourself as frequently as you floss your teeth? Standing on a cold scale is the second thing many women do every morning. Others haven’t been near a scale for years. You are too savvy to compete with an appliance but you may have become dependent on one. Please, don’t give up any of your power to a number.

If the anxiety of not weighing yourself at your usual frequency is too high, reduce your dependency on the scale by skipping a weigh-in” whenever you can. Deciding not to weigh yourself this morning may be the first step you take in healing your relationship with food.  Healthy weight loss involves reconnecting to your body and yourself in different ways.

The process of discovering a healthier weight can be a time for continual growth. You can’t rely solely on what the scale “says” when it comes to gauging your knowledge, beliefs and attitudes about what being healthy means for you. That the scale does not register an expected weight loss at a particular time does not reflect the beneficial changes taking place on a physical, emotional and spiritual level as you are making changes in how you eat to be healthier woman. Your best weight may be very different from the number in your head, on a chart or how much your best friend weighs.

I Would Be Happy If I Could Only lose Weight….”

410950321Diets fail because they are an offspring of control. They are disguised attempts at manipulating our external environment to achieve a change that must come from deep within ourselves. Following someone else’s rules and setting arbitrary limits about everything we put into our mouth cannot possibly harness the power of our own healing.

Most “diets” come to predictable ends. They are subject to boredom, disillusionment, impatience and lack of joy. They keep us hooked for a while on achieving an outcome that may have been unrealistic from the start. Any diet based on the common belief “I would be happy if I could only lose weight” leaves us feeling miserable, if not a little brokenhearted.

Even when we lose weight, if we still think about ourselves in the same, old ways our food issues continue to be a domineering force in our lives. We still think that “thinner is better.” We still talk about losing “five more pounds” even after we reach a more satisfactory weight range. We still stand in front of the mirror trying to decide if we are still fat.

Succeeding on a new diet or healing your relationship with food can both result in achieving an ideal weight. Whether the amount of weight lost is the same or quite different, it is only by their permanent outcomes can you tell them apart. When you go off the diet, if everything returns to the way it was and nothing else in your life has changed except the number on the scale, it’s very unlikely that number will remain where it is.

When you heal your relationship with food, your life is transformed. Weight loss is easily maintained because you have gained insight about your old behaviors and reframed your thinking about food and hunger.  Inspiration comes from the desire to be healthy, not wanting a smaller body. You have learned how to live a more satisfying life with a more enlightened relationship with yourself.

Do I Look Too Fat? 3 Insights to Transform How You See Yourself

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Thinking about your body in terms of how “fat” it is can erode your self-esteem and keep you at a distance from your real beauty. Here are three insights to help you reframe how the word “fat” operates in your life by changing the focus from body image to self image:

1. When you say “I feel fat,” what precisely do you mean? This is an important question because “fat” is a word many women use as a stand-in for a wide-range of authentic emotions. What is the feeling, the mood or the experience that is the driving force behind your “I feel fat” statement. Do you feel undesirable or socially anxious? Do you feel inferior or unlovable? Are you sad or hurt or angry and don’t quite believe that you belong in the world today? Shift your focus from chronic preoccupation with your body’s size and weight to what you are really feeling about yourself in the moment. 

2.  “Do these pants make me look fat?” How often do you suppose this question is heard in women’s dressing rooms? How many times have is asked it yourself?  Realize that no article of clothing makes you look fat. Your clothes do reveal other important information about yourself. A dress can emphasize how gracefully you age; a pair of shoes might say something about your sense of humor. But most often, the clothing you choose to wear is a statement about how you feel about yourself:

“I feel pretty” or “Don’t look at me.

“I’m comfortable and secure” or “Go away.”

“I’m a winner” or “I’m hopeless.”

“I mean business” or “Shoot me now.”

The colors, patterns and fit of your clothing can draw attention to you or help you hide, but no article of clothing “makes” you look fat. See if the clothes you feel drawn to give you insight about your internal landscape.

3. When you stand before the mirror, shift your attention from the critical eye perpetually judging the relative size and shape of your body. Remember that the amount of space you occupy is not a reflection of your self-worth. The size of your backside is not in proportion to your capacity to give and receive love. Your body’s silhouette does not limit or increase your integrity or your courage. Keep in mind that even the most dramatic weight loss does not promise an increase in self-esteem. A shift in your self-esteem, however, can support anything you want to accomplish.



One More Time…Why Do Diets Fail?

Going on a diet based on the common belief “I would be happy if I could only lose this weight” is often a set up for failure. Gaining everything back after our most valiant efforts to shed extra pounds leaves us feeling miserable, if not a little brokenhearted.

Diets fail because they are an offspring of control. They are disguised attempts at manipulating our external environment to achieve a change that must come from deep within us. They keep us hooked for a while on achieving an outcome that may be incomplete or unrealistic and make little room for real healing.

imagesG9U578DK.jpgYO YoThe “next, new diet” is embraced  because so many of us keep thinking that our happiness is relative to the size of our backsides. If a new diet is our only tool, the mindset we had while we were overweight can remain with us long after a weight loss has made good progress or is completed.

Some quotes from women you may envy because they lost weight:

Buying clothes is a not the fun I thought it would be. I try on something over and over again until I find something to fit me. It’s just the way it used to be, only the opposite. I still don’t like what I see in the mirror.

Losing the weight forces me to feel things I didn’t have to before.” I thought I’d be happier.

(After losing 60 pounds) My one dream has been taken away. I believed that losing weight would change everything that was wrong in my life but that did not happen. The pain of my childhood is still with me. I’m still lonely. And now, I no longer have getting thin to look forward to.

The only thing that has changed about me is the amount of space I take up….I’m still the same person but suddenly I have become visible to men , get more positive feedback for doing the same quality of work I’ve always done and receive more invitations from my friends. I’m having a hard time. I never would have imagined I’d feel resentment once I was slim.”

I don’t want to lose any more weight. There’s been enough loss in my life, already.

When only the number on the scale changes, even dramatically, we may still be living with the specter of hunger much of the time. An inexplicable unrest never seems far away. A feeling of unexplained loss, even grief, may linger. If food served as a constant, comforting companion or “best friend,” it is easy to understand feeling this way.

When a part of you is starving, being slimmer cannot feed you. What Part of You Is Hungry?